Elizabeth:Mum, I'm terribly confused and worried. Hugh left the house last night to get a nip with his mates at the bar, but he hasn't come home yet, and now it's the afternoon of the next day!
Elizabeth's Mum:Well, I hope he's alright dear, he is such a lovely man... hold a moment, the paper's just come.
(Elizabeth's Mum puts the phone down and gets the morning newspaper)
Elizabeth's Mum:I'm back dear, let's see what's in the news today shall we?
Elizabeth:Mum, I don't want to know what's in the news, I want to find Hugh!
(Sound of a newspaper opening)
Elizabeth's Mum:Um... dearie, you and Hugh don't happen to be friends with a woman named Divine Brown, are you?
Elizabeth:What? No. Why do you ask?
Elizabeth's Mum:Because I just found Hugh on Page Six being arrested for engaging in lewd conduct and solicitation of a prostitute last night, with a hooker named Divine Brown.
(Elizabeth gasps and begins silently crying)
Elizabeth:Four Weddings and a Funeral my bum! When I'm finished with him it'll be No Weddings and a Funeral!
